


The Fault, the Blame, the Pain's Still There

by Kadenwalsh



Series: Darling, You'll Be Okay [1]
Category: Julie and The Phantoms (TV)
Genre: Alive AU, Child Neglect, Childhood Friends, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Domestic Violence, Modern AU, Reggie Peters Angst (Julie and The Phantoms), Reggie Peters Character Study (Julie and The Phantoms), Reggie Peters Has a Sibling (Julie and The Phantoms), Swearing, The Boys Are Alive, Trans Luke Patterson (Julie and The Phantoms), Verbal Abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-08
Updated: 2021-02-08
Packaged: 2021-03-13 16:54:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,556
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29281800
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kadenwalsh/pseuds/Kadenwalsh
Summary: Reggie Peters's home life was never great, but he loved his sister more than anything in the world.(I had posted another version but wasn't happy with how it turned out so I edited it and reuploaded it under the same name)
Relationships: Alex Mercer & Luke Patterson & Reggie Peters (Julie and The Phantoms), Alex Mercer & Luke Patterson (Julie and The Phantoms), Alex Mercer & Reggie Peters (Julie and The Phantoms), Reggie Peters & Luke Patterson, Reggie Peters & OC
Series: Darling, You'll Be Okay [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2150361
Comments: 9
Kudos: 30





	The Fault, the Blame, the Pain's Still There

Before Reggie even walked up to his front door he could hear his parents fighting. This had unfortunately, become a normal thing for the 8-year-old boy. He walked up the front steps and put his key into the lock, still flinching when the yelling intensified. Closing the door gently behind him, he turned the lock slowly and let out a short breath as it clicked into place. His parents were in the kitchen, and as much as he tried to block out their harsh words, he wasn’t able to. 

“We already have one fucked up kid, we don’t need another one!”

“Well, that’s not really my fault is it?!”

Another kid, was Reggie getting a sibling? As much as he wanted to stay and find out more, he knew that getting caught eavesdropping wouldn’t lead to anything good, so he slipped past the kitchen and up the stairs to his room. 

Reggie, even at the age of 8, knew there weren’t many spaces in this world he could feel safe, but his bedroom was his one of them. There wasn’t much on the walls except for a few drawings he’d taped up of him and his friends, or the beach that his window looked out upon. Wallpaper with Music notes wrapped around the middle of the wall, all scribbled over in crayon. The floor was a little messy, sure, but what 8-year-old boy had a clean room? And it was his. 

Setting his backpack against his desk, he pulled out a notebook that Luke had given him at school that day with _Reggie’s_ _music_ _journal_ written across the front in messy scrawl. Luke had given him, Bobby, and Alex music journals to match his own, saying that they were gonna be famous one day. Reggie didn’t really understand what he meant but knew that he could write things in the journal, and he was excited. No one would be able to tell him to slow down or stop rambling because no one else would read what he wrote!

Reggie spent the rest of the afternoon writing in his journal, and when he heard the front door slam shut, he made a break for the kitchen. After a fight his parents wouldn’t come back into the living space for a good couple of hours, so Reggie used that time to his advantage. Scrounging around for whatever was edible, he found a couple of granola bars, a cheese stick, and applesauce. It wasn’t much of a dinner, but it was better than nothing. 

After a month Reggie’s parents finally told him about his little sister. He told the boys right away and they were almost as excited as he was. He didn’t want to annoy them by talking about her all the time, so he put anything more he wanted to talk about into his journal; he wrote down how she would love Luke, Bobby, and Alex as much as he did, and how much he would love her and protect her. And one night, when the fighting had been absent from the house for almost a week, he wrote about how he hoped for the newfound peace to last. About how she helped them be a family again. 

The first few weeks after she was born, Reggie had really begun to think that everything was going to finally be okay, that Mallory Peters was the answer to all his prayers, but his parents weren’t known for their civility. Things started again with small disagreements, like how long to heat up her bottle, and then, after two months, things started to fly across the room. By Mallory’s first birthday, Reggie had started to look after her more and more. By her 2nd birthday, Reggie had started to think that his parents really did forget they had any children at all. 

The first time his father hit his mom, he swore it had been an accident. His father told him that they both moved at the same time, that it was no one's fault, and that it would never happen again. 

The first time Reggie’s father hit him hadn’t been an accident. 

His father had been drinking since he got home from work, and by 7 o’clock he was four beers in. Reggie normally would avoid him when this happened, lose himself in writing or playing with Mallory, but he couldn’t focus on much today. Mallory had been complaining about being hungry for over an hour so he had given the last of the emergency applesauce that he kept in his room. He had only had half of Alex’s sandwich today, after the blonde insisted when Reggie showed up with no food. As much as Reggie didn’t want to take his food, Alex had practically shoved half of it into his mouth before he could protest.

“Im hungweeee!” Mallory cried, throwing her doll across her room. Reggie had tried to keep her mind away from food, but she was 3 and didn’t realize what was going on in the Peters house. 

“Bug, you already had applesauce, remember?” 

“But I'm still hungwe!” Her voice was rising and Reggie knew just how much trouble he would be in if he didn’t keep her quiet. He figured that punishment would be worse than getting caught in the kitchen, so he picked the lesser of two evils. 

“Fine, fine! I'm gonna go get you something to eat, but you have to promise me that you’ll stay in here and be quiet okay?” 

“Pwomise!” She said happily, running over to get the doll she had tossed, “Im sowwy I thuew you Abbi.” 

Reggie smiled at her before closing the door behind him. All he had to do was get to the kitchen, get something edible for them to eat, and back without being noticed. Going down the stairs quietly, he snuck past his dad and into the kitchen. 

Praying to whatever god was up there for something to grab and go, he opened the fridge, only to find it empty of food. He moved onto the cupboards and found boxed Mac n cheese, and soup. Cursing under his breath, he stood on his top toes to see if there was anything behind them, but he was too short. He wasn’t allowed on the counter, had gotten yelled at multiple times for it, but finding food for Mallory was more important. 

It took a little more effort than he had thought it would, but finally he found his way up, looking into the cupboard. Pushing past some cans he found some older looking granola bars, and fruit snacks. They were possibly expired, or stale, but it would have to do. His small arms were just long enough to grab the boxes and pocketed the snacks before quickly shutting the cupboard door. As he turned around to jump down he was met with a terrifying glare. 

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” Reggie flinches as his fathers rough voice rang throughout the kitchen.

“I- I was just-“

“Get off of the fucking counter.” His father didn’t give him time to move before he was grabbing him by the shoulder and pushing him off. It was only a foot or two drop, but the tile wasn’t a very soft place to land. 

“What were you doing up there?” His father asked, towering over him. 

“I was looking for food.”

“You mean stealing food?” He didn’t get a chance to reply as he was yanked off the floor. His feet were barely even back on the ground when he felt a sting across his cheek. 

“You ungrateful little brat,” his father spit at him before going to the fridge and grabbing another beer. 

Thankful that he hadn’t noticed the food in his pockets Reggie sprinted upstairs and back to his little sister. She didn’t notice how red his cheek was, too preoccupied with snacks. 

  
  
A few months later it was Reggie’s 13th birthday, and instead of hanging out with his friends as planned, his parents decided to leave for the weekend and make Reggie babysit Mallory. He never really resented them for this, he loved Mallory more than anything in the world, but sometimes he wanted to be a kid again. Luke, Bobby, and Alex had all been friends with him since they were little, so they treated Mallory like their little sister, but it wasn’t the same.

He had asked them if they remembered it was his birthday that weekend. All he really remembered of the response is his father yelling and another smack to the face. 

Instead of going out, the boys surprised Reggie at his house on his birthday. They had all pitched in, with help from their parents he suspected, and bought him a bass. 

“Guys! This is way too much,” Reggie tried once he’d unwrapped his present. 

“Not at all! You deserve it!” Bobby said. 

“No, for real, this is too much.”

“Hey,” Luke caught his eye, and he couldn't look away, “this is purely selfish, okay? How are we supposed to become the next best rock band when our bassist doesn’t even have a bass!” The other two boys nodded along, contagious smiles plastered on all three faces. 

“Fine!” Reggie gave in, “But it has to stay at one of your houses. If my parents see it they’ll ask too many questions,” He knew he was loved by his friends, but this was another level. They loved him enough to buy him something even his parents wouldn’t buy for him, and it made him feel wanted for the first time in a long time. 

“Can I join the band?” Mallory asked from her seat on Alex’s lap. 

“Well I don’t know, bug, can you play an instrument?” Reggie asked playfully. 

“Yes!”

“What one?” She struggled to find an answer and Reggie chuckled.

“How about you be our groupie?” Luke said, squishing her cheek. Mallory squealed and wriggled around trying to bat his hand away. 

“Yeah! You can come to all our shows and be moral support!” Bobby chimed in. 

“Okay!”    
  
  
Once the boys started the playing together, Mallory came with. She loved being included by the older boys, and it gave Reggie an excuse to get out of the house. He would tell his parents they were going to the park or one of her friends' houses. 

Reggie couldn’t imagine a life without her, but sometimes it all got to be too much. He was a kid too, and parenting a child didn’t give him much room to be one himself. By the time he was 15 the fighting would get physical more often than not, and Mallory started to stay at friends houses for the weekends. Her friends' parents didn’t know exactly what was going on, but they knew Mallory needed a safe place to stay. His friends knew what was going on, but not to what extent. They thought arguing was all it was, and Reggie made sure it stayed that way. 

Sometimes he would wish that Mallory wasn’t in the picture, but then would immediately feel selfish. He loved her too much to really wish her away, but If she wasn’t in the picture, he wouldn’t have to deal with all of this. She was too young to leave alone with the monsters he called parents though, and he wasn’t old enough to take her away yet. He loved her more than anyone else in the entire world, even more than the boys; That’s the only reason he ever came back after bad days. As selfish as he felt wanting to get out, he would never do anything about it until he could bring her with him.

Reggie didn’t know what to do anymore. The past week he had taken Mallory to the garage everyday after school, and spent all his pocket change on food for her before returning to the house. But no matter how late they got back, their parents would still be yelling at each other. He was just thankful that objects stayed in their place until Mallory was upstairs. A crash brought him out of his thoughts, and a second later his door opened. Any sound it would’ve made was covered by the screaming from down stairs.

“Reggie?” 

“Come here bug,” Mallory went directly to where Reggie was sitting up in bed, diving into his open arms.

“Are they ever gonna stop?” She asked, voice muffled by his shirt.

“I hope so…”

Holding his little sister as she slept used to be comforting, back when the fighting only happened when his parents thought no one was awake. Back when they were still pretending to be happy together. 

Something shattered downstairs, and he prayed to whatever divine figure was out there, that Mallory would stay asleep. He’d given up on praying for his parents to love each other again, or for the fighting to stop, or even for himself to get any sleep. None of that was realistic, but Mallory? She had a full life ahead of her, and as soon as he turned 18 he was going to take her away from this broken home and give her the life she deserved, a life that was more than broken glass and lying to doctors.

The next day Reggie had picked her up from school, walking with her hand in hand towards Bobby’s house. Mallory normally loved going to rehearsals with him, and would skip alongside him chattering on about what happened at school that day. Today she was quietly walking next to him. As worried as Reggie was, he didn’t want to push, so they just walked in silence. 

About halfway to the studio Mallory stopped, hand slipping out of her older brothers.

“What’s wrong, bug?” Reggie asked, turning back and kneeling in front of her.

“Do Mom and Dad love each other?” The pained expression on her face was something that no 8 year old should ever wear, and it broke Reggie’s heart almost as much as the hurt laced in her voice.

“Why- What made you…” 

“Katie told me that they don’t love each other, and that they don’t love me either.”

“Why would she say something like that?”

“We-we were talking about her dad’s new car and she said her mom sur-surprised him with it. I told her my mom hadn’t done anything like that before and, and she said it was because she-she didn’t love Dad. or me.”

Reggie didn’t know what to say. He didn’t want to tell her that her parents didn't love each other, or their kids, but at the same time what was he supposed to do, lie to her? He was only 16, he was too young for this shit.

“Mallory, you are so, so very loved-” he brought his hand up to her cheek, wiping away some of the tears that had started to fall from her face, “-and it doesn’t matter what Katie from school tells you, okay? She doesn’t know anything.”

This seemed to be the right answer, and Reggie was able to coax her into continuing onto the studio by putting her on his back for a piggie-back-ride. 

He knew that someday she would find out that Katie was right, but he was hoping and praying that whenever that day came, they would be far away from that broken home.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you guys enjoyed this! This is just the first part of the series Darling You'll Be Okay, and every part will be based on a song! Here is the link to my Spotify playlist for the series:
> 
> https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1r9wWw21P1AGuccUcxRV2M?si=ZB_2oj52QIa_S1rbbYICgQ


End file.
